Марк Твен. Афоризмы и шутки APK

MARK TWAIN About Me

   I was born without teeth, and where Richard III has the advantage of me. But I was born without a hump, and the advantage here by my side. My parents were poor - in moderation, and honest - also in moderation.
***
   As I understand it, do you wish to get information from me about how I lied the first time in my life and how I got out of this lie. I was born in 1835, and now I have quite a few years and my memory is not what it was before. You should have asked how and when I first told the truth, I would be much easier to answer, since these circumstances I remember quite clearly. My family insists that it happened the week before, but it's just flattery on their part.
***
   One afternoon spichey Mark Twain:
   When I was a boy I went to school, where the use of birch twigs was not unusual. Writing on the desk was strictly forbidden, under penalty of five dollars or public flogging - to choose from. Once I have transgressed the law. My father decided that public flogging too ordeal for me and gave me five dollars. In those days, five dollars was a considerable sum, while flogging had significant consequences, like so ... - here Twain tapped ash from his cigar and went on - in this way ... I earned his first five dollars.
***
   My literary career is very curious. I could never lie so that I did not believe, when I was telling the truth, no one wanted to believe me.